5 years ago (12th December 2015), I walked across the stage to receive my degree certificate. Believe it or not, it took me 5 effing years to finally put that piece of super expensive but somewhat useless paper into a proper frame. Yep, it was lying somewhere in my closet for such a long time and I really just couldn't be bothered. In the end, thanks to IKEA, my certificate finally has its own home.  

I wrote about my 1-year graduation anniversary back in 2016. As much as it made me cringe as I read through it, I wouldn't deny a single thing that I wrote previously. 

So let me sum up these 5 years in bullet points (for my personal record):

2016: 
  • Experienced my 1st breakup and lost about 13kilos from that in just 1 month.
  • Started my fitness journey so I wouldn't rebound (I sure as hell did not envision myself having the persistence to keep it up till this day - the story is here).
  • Worked as a private tutor just to make ends meets as an unemployed fresh grad.
  • Got my first ever corporate job as a part-time bank teller after sending out over 200 resumes and having no replies at all - fortunately, I nailed the one and only interview that I got and that's the start of my corporate life. 
  • Passed my PTE examination.

2017 (the craziest year of my life): 
  • Became a full-time banker and moved to a new branch and worked 6 days a week. 
  • Still worked as a private tutor. 
  • Passed my NAATI (National Accreditation Authority for Translators & Interpreters Ltd) examination after cramping the whole syllabus in under 2 months. 
  • Sat for my CFA (Chartered Financial Analyst) level 1 exam after a 3-month preparation - failed by 7 marks *FML but it's a blessing in disguise because I knew I didn't want to go down that path anymore*
  • Experienced my 2nd breakup - the whole relationship was like a drama on its own but I definitely learnt a lot of life-changing lessons from that ex. 
  • Spent about 20 weeks of Sundays finishing an Australian Professional Year Program.  
  • Travelled to South Korea on my own - and I never brought my soul back with me.   
  • Got diagnosed with mild anxiety and depression issues. I hid it from most of the people around me but quietly wrote a blog post to release my emotions (I still have no idea how and when did that begin).

[For those who wonder, the reason I took the programs/certifications/exams during 2016 and 2017 was to gain more points to obtain my Australian Permanent Residency visa. To date, I still am waiting for the Australian government to decide my fate.]

2018 (my world flipped 180 degrees):

  • Got a new role as a personal banker and moved to a new branch - finally had my very own office. 
  • Travelled to Hong Kong spontaneously for 36 hours just to watch Yong Hwa oppa's concert after the sudden announcement of his military enlistment. I spent about 5K AUD on such a short trip and that changed my perspective of spending money ever since (I'll talk about it in detail in a separate blog post someday).    
  • Despite all the effort that I invested in the past 2 years, I still had not gotten my Aussie Permanent Residency visa so I had to move back to Malaysia. I said goodbye to my 2nd home, Melbourne - with a blog post to make it somewhat 'memorable'. I cried bucketsssssssss of tears both before and after my departure.  
  • My anxiety and depression got even worse because my life turned upside down in the blink of an eye.
  • I refused to go back to corporate in Malaysia because I wanted to take a break for the sake of my mental health. It was a now or never thing. 
  • Started working as a freelancer for all those behind-the-social-media work + did some copywriting as well.  

 2019:
  • Dabbled into content creation and even tried out graphic designing (I taught myself through Youtube, certainly not a pro at all). Big fun creating and designing e-Books for my client from scratch though. 
  • I came across Ricky on Youtube and I binged on his videos because he's cute. That's how I learnt that there's another way of dealing with stocks without having to wait for 10 years to reap the fruit. I made my jump and tried to figure out how to open the parachute in mid-air. It's a really bad and scary way of commencing it but I never regretted taking that leap of faith.  

♠ 2020:
  • I quit freelancing entirely and started focusing on being a serious trader - that's a roller coaster ride but very worthwhile.
  • Covid happened and pretty much all of this year was spent in front of the laptop trading and readjusting my trades - here's a recap of my lockdown lessons.
  • Another break-up happened this year because I was too obsessed with building up my trading career - just bad timing, nothing unhealthy.
  • Miraculously, my depression symptoms started to fade off on its own because I do look forward to opening the Pandora box of every trading day. 
  • I finally felt that I found my calling of life in trading. I'm documenting my journey here
  • Started learning about currency trading as a backup plan for my career as a trader.



As I laid in bed looking at my 2015 convocation Instagram posts, I started thinking about these questions:
"How did the past 5 years go?"
"Did I become someone who'd make the fresh grad Fion proud?"
"What will the next 5 years have in store for me?"

I have mixed feelings towards all these questions. Looking back, there were definitely times that I had regretted big time but I also knew that I wouldn't be where I am right now without those moments. 

5 years is not a short time nor is it a long time - depending on how you look at it. If you are viewing it in terms of your 20s (like where I am right now), then it's definitely a significant amount of time - 50% for hell's sake. In the contrary, if you were to look at it on the spectrum of an average homo sapien's lifespan of approximately 80 years, 5 years is nothing at all. 


In the Asian culture, there's an unspoken rush behind every 20-somethings and it's called achieved-everything-by-30. 

Everyone knows it, everyone tries to be cool about it but in reality, most people succumb to it without ever questioning if that's really what they want themselves, deep down. 

Getting a house with a home loan that you can barely afford, settling down and popping babies......feel free to elongate the list. 

(I'm not a fish, so I can't tell if a fish is sad/happy being unable to walk or fly, so yea no judgment - you do you)

I get interrogated a lot by many people about my plans for these "must-dos" because in 5 years' time I will be over 30.

And I still am nowhere close to ticking off any of those boxes - frankly speaking, I have no interest in putting effort into doing so. 


At times, I questioned myself if I'm the alien among all of my peers. This is a constant tennis match that goes on and off in my head - because I know that personally, I don't buy that shit yet when it seems like a norm on the outside, it feels like you just showed up at a party with the wrong af dress code, all alone. 

I only have 1 goal: to have money and a rock-solid money-making skill that nobody can take away from me. Shallow as it sounds but at least to me, it's fucking realistic. Money can't buy happiness but it's unlikely that you will be happy when you can't afford the things/life that you want.

I don't have big dreams to change the world but I just want to be a decent person with a big bank account so I can do whatever and go wherever the F I want whenever I want - simple as that. 


Recently, I brought up this topic with a friend and I asked if I was in the wrong for not having a plan for the future. Unlike most people, he told me "fuck everyone else, remember it's your life and do whatever the fuck you want". 

WOAH~ that's a breath of fresh minty air that I hadn't had since I left Melbourne. For the first time in a really long time, someone is giving me an affirmation that I had been wanting to hear desperately - I wasn't wrong in wanting what I want and that I shouldn't change/rush myself. 

"What about the next 5 years?", I asked.

Then he said, "Don't worry about it now, you are doing good, just keep it up". 

After this conversation, I sat in my room and reminisced the past 5 years of my life (that's the whole premise of this blog post), I realized that as much as I tried to plan and make things happened, nothing panned out the way I envisioned back then. Nevertheless, I have never been as happy and free as I am right now. 

Time passed. Things changed. People changed. And so did I. 


I went from wanting to climb the corporate ladder to thinking that it's the most excruciating drama to put up with in life. I went from putting all my heart, soul and money into obtaining the Australian Permanent Residency visa and thinking that my life would be over without it to seeing that as the biggest silver lining of my life as it led me to discover the world of trading. 

I don't know what is in store for me 5 years later from now. And many thanks to that friend's wakeup-call (seriously TQ, you know who you are 💗), I no longer feel the pressure to have everything figured out in this instance. And I also no longer think that I am at fault for not going after what most people are chasing. 

Because I know whatever it is, it will certainly be a result of all the cumulative big-and-small decisions that I make along the way starting from now. 

I just had this epiphany:
Just like losing weight and building abs, I don't know what I will be eating tomorrow, next week or next month...But as long as I give it my very best in maintaining a clean eating habit most of the days and keeping up with a consistent workout routine, obtaining my dream body isn't an uncertainty anymore. 


All I need to do now is to keep my focus by:
  • Making sure that I stay true to my personal wants and needs unapologetically 
  • Giving less F about what other people I think I should/shouldn't do 
  • Striving to do my very best in honour of my own dreams and/or goals

Being an Aquarius baby whose birthday's at the beginning of the year, I had always felt a tremendous level of stress going into the new year. It felt like a serious appraisal time for not just the past year's resolutions but a guilt-tripping moment for not moving an inch closer to ticking the boxes of everything-by-30.  

But as I am wrapping up this blog post, I think I can now accept the fact that I am turning 27 in less than 2 months' time with a lighter heart. In fact, I kinda am curious and excited as to how I am going to shape the next 5 years with my own hands moving forward.  

Though I did my Commerce degree zero justice, I can put my hand on my heart and say that I finally did my own life justice for the first time in my 26 years of existence - and I really do hope that I can keep moving forward in this manner. 

화이팅 피연아~ 

I'll come back to this blog post 5 years later and let's see! 😈

Sunday, December 13, 2020



Back in June/July this year, I was hunting for a decent fine dining restaurant for my mom's birthday. 

It was then I found this restaurant named Platform 9 & 3/4 by chance. This restaurant was named after the famous platform at King Cross's Station in London where Harry and the others boarded the steam engine train, Hogwarts Express. When I took a look at their Instagram, I knew right away that this would be the place for her! I crossed the other restaurants off my list and proceeded to book it.

Friday, October 9, 2020

After I got my Hanbok and makeover at Flowery Hanbok, off I went to the Gyeongbokgung Palace - the palace greatly blessed by heaven. Time to tick off my bucketlist! I was so excited and also somewhat nervous as I slowly made my way along towards the palace. 


The Gyeongbokgung Palace was established in 1395, 3 years after the Joseon Dynasty was founded by King Taejo. After its establishment, the capital of this new dynasty was moved from Gaesung to Hanyang (former name of Seoul) with the Gyeongbokgung Palace serving as the largest and main palace alongside with the other 4 grand palaces, namely: Gyeonghuigung Palace, Deoksugung Palace, Changgyeonggung Palace and Changdeokgung palace. 

I felt as if I just hopped onto a time machine when I stepped foot into the Gyeongbokgung Palace. Everything was so well preserved and every corner's so picturesque. I literally stood there for a good 5 minutes just to let everything sink in. It was so perfect to the extent that it's felt unreal. 

Monday, June 8, 2020


Twenty twenty - it sounded complete in a way before we stepped into it. Who would have thought we'd be dealing with so much crap at the start of this new decade. But, as cliche as this sounds, there's always a silver lining - if you look hard enough.

Saturday, May 16, 2020


I totally forgot about that gigantic pack of oats which I bought quite some time ago. The expiration date is just a few weeks away and how am I suppose to finish all of them in such a short time?

Wednesday, May 6, 2020

When I was a kid, I could finish an entire Harry Potter book in a single day. Unfortunately, as I grew up, I started feeling there are bigger fishes to fry other than reading.

Nevertheless, I was so wrong.

Bill Gate reads. Jack Ma reads. Elon Musk reads. Warren Buffett reads. Every successful person that is worth looking up to is an avid reader. Mind you, they definitely have a lot more and bigger fishes to fry - yet they are reading! So, why are commoners like us not reading?


Now that we are all locked at home, it's the perfect time to start reading more and consistently. Let's cut to the chase, here are some books that I've read and love (and have also reread for a few times) - and will personally recommend to anyone:

Sunday, April 19, 2020

With the Covid-19 pandemic spreading in Malaysia like a wildfire, our government just announced there'll be a nationwide "lockdown" (or rather movement control) starting from tomorrow till the end of March.



For a homebody like me, not to rub it in your face, this so-called lockdown that people fear, it's just my regular life. If there's one thing that I consider myself an expert in, that'll prolly be the art of staying at home. Most of the days, I don't even leave my house - I work from home, I cook and eat at home and I workout at home too. Occasionally, when I finally leave the house, it's more for satisfying my sweet tooth cravings or to run some errands.

Tuesday, March 17, 2020

Believe it or not, I had been sleeping on the idea of incorporating a fitness column onto my blog for at least 3 years by now. The reason why I didn't do it initially was because I didn't feel I was qualified enough to do so. I am certainly not an expert in this and I did not shed 40kg for my journey to be considered as a groundbreaking or inspiring one.

It wasn't until recently that I decided that my blogging game needs to be leveled up. Sure, writing about travel and food hunts is fun but I realized that my blog is lacking some essence here. I haven't really been writing about the things that I personally care, believe, preach and am constantly working towards diligently in my daily life - such topics include fitness, finance, personal development, emotional well being and all that jazz. That is why I am finally taking the leap of faith, starting with this fitness topic to slowly write more about these topics because I know that I have been growing in various aspects as a person and if this blog remains stagnant, then what is the point of even keeping it alive anymore? 


Sunday, March 15, 2020

"A big bouquet of roses will definitely melt her heart!"

Whenever I hear someone says something like that, it makes me cringe. I'm generally a practical person for 85.79% of the time. So, I never understand the logic behind spending a bunch of money on 99 stems of roses that will just wilt in 3 days - give me the cash instead!


Stepping into the new year where we are celebrating the birthdays of our loved ones all over again and having Valentine's Day (and my own birthday) around the corner, I thought it'd be fun to put together a list of gift ideas which IMHO will put your money to good use as a giver and it brings utility to the receiver as well.

No more spending money on conventional gifts that will probably end up in the trash in a few days or collecting dust in a quiet corner of one's house.

Saturday, February 8, 2020


Situated on Macalister Road, Macalister Mansion is a beautiful boutique hotel that is designed around the idea of an old English mansion. Each space is designed to provide hospitality of an actual home - each space in Macalister Mansion is branded as distinct rooms serving different types, namely BLANC, Living Room, The Cellar, The Lawn and 8 Rooms. 

Saturday, February 1, 2020


I entered 2020 without having a solid list of resolutions for the first time in so many years because I thought it was enough to keep everything in my head. Unknowingly, that's the reason why I felt antsy, lost and blur right away in the first 2 weeks of January. After talking to my bestie, she highly recommended that I write recaps and/or resolutions like how I did in the previous years (2013/2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018/2019, 2019). Plus, a few friends and/or readers were asking for this kind of blog post.

Sunday, January 12, 2020


It's the first day of 2020 and I'm gonna turn more than a quarter-of-century years old soon. Dafuq~

When I was a kid, I always envisioned how my life would be at 25 years old but little did it's a hella roller coaster ride. Sorry little Fion, at 25 years old, you are not flying all over the world in business class yet, you are not living in a penthouse with floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking a concrete jungle or ocean yet, but those dreams are still alive in you (and me). They are on the way. I promise.

When I first entered into 2019, I only had one mission: to feel genuinely happy. That's it.

It's simple, but it wasn't easy.

In fact, it was a fucking shit roller coaster ride. I never really said it out loud to many but I had silently written a blog post about me dealing with depression. Wait, let me rephrase that. I'd prefer to call it "dealing with depressive dark thoughts". Long story short, I was at a point where I secretly wished upon God or whatever almighty power that's out there that I could just never ever have to go through another tomorrow.

Dark...I know...

This went on for a really long period of time until some time this year.


Growing up, partly also because of the Asian culture that promotes hard work and praises bitterness in life which I grew up in, I was always striving to do the seemingly right things: studying hard, getting good grades, going to a good school, graduating with a professional-looking degree, finding a decent corporate job and working hard to earn money and hoping someone recognizes me and gives me the chance to climb up the corporate ladder so I can have more money to buy nicer and bigger and shinnier things, then my family will feel honourable and I will be thankful for all these teachings at the end of the day when I sit in a Ferrari or sleeping on a mattress made of money.


Yeah, something like that. I throw in Mulan references whenever I have the chance. And plus what's the best way to mock the Asian culture with my favourite cartoon - which also mocks the Asian culture anyway.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying working hard and having big dreams are not important. They are - that's why I'm a dreamer myself too! But, there's more to it...and I hope things will make a lot more sense if you have the patience to get through to the end of this blog post.

So, to find myself, I decided that I was going to do it on my own. I didn't seek out professional help the conventional way by going to a psychiatrist or whatsoever because I didn't want someone who's not me to label me. If you get what I mean…because if something becomes part of my identity, then it means that I am going to walk around with that invisible tattoo in my brain and the last thing that I needed was to constantly remind myself of something that I was trying so hard to shake off. Hence, I declared to myself that it's a passing phase and it's within my ability to figure something some day (I honestly didn't know how and when but I just believed) that would allow me to blow these dark clouds away and put them in the past.

Now as I am typing this, I can say that although this is the year that I did the least things and had the least applause-worthy achievements in Asian terms, I am the happiest and also the most grounded that I had ever been in my entire life.


In one of Tony Robbins' books that I read, he talked about how majority of the people are confusing the ends and the means. Also, how many people are in self-denial when it comes to this. I basically just reverse-engineered everything and kept on asking myself “why" and "how”.

Also thanks to my 2 best friends (you guys know who you are) who fed me the toughest pill to swallow when I lost myself. The interesting thing is that these 2 friends of mine do not know one another, so when they both told me the similar thing, I knew that they had seen something that I couldn’t see myself…

Their suggestion was for me to find back what the young innocent Fion dreamt of doing with her I-can-conquer-the-world-when-I-grow-up optimism, and then compare that to what I had been doing in these recent years. Was I going in the right direction towards the life that I want to have? I went back to my old essays, my old diaries, asking my other friends what did I shared whenever we talked about our wildest dreams back then, did a lot of meditation to recall the past and also in the attempt of connecting to my subconscious brain, read a lot about spirituality, personal development and listened to motivational and inspiring podcasts...and all that jazz.

And yes, I found it eventually. Those 2 friends were right. My GPS of life was malfunctioned. I gave into the “right things” and totally forgotten about what was my truth.

Yeah, at this part, I suppose many people will start saying "Oh, you millennial kids are so full of yourselves".

Maybe yes, maybe no. But why is that a bad thing for someone to know what they want and to work towards the path that makes them happy and puts their own happiness beyond anything? It's a basic living thing anyway, with the prerequisite condition that you aren't doing something illegal or physically hurting anyone. Whoever that feels butt-hurt, that's their emotions that you cannot control. You are not ice cream, you can't please everyone.

That's why I believe that many of us are not happy - hey, at least I could openly admit that I wasn't when many people out there still can't recognize the fact that they are just living life based on a "just because" basis, not knowing whether or not they are genuinely happy, especially if they take away the shiny material stuffs. A lot of people just coast through life being busy and then doing weird shits. Just to name a few, being stuck in toxic relationships, messed up sex lives, staying in unhappy marriages while posting Instagram stories about having a lovely family, buying things you don't need just to impress the others, constantly gossiping about other people, finding faults with your loved ones, binge eating, not eating...the list goes on...We all have that, in one form or another and there's no shame in this game that we called life because one should really be ashamed if one can't be honest with him/herself.

Whenever people ask me why did I try so many new things or how did I find the courage and determination to have the "just do it" mentality, I don't really know how to answer them.

I had nothing to lose, really. Because I came from the phase of not wanting to live another day anymore to “let’s try and see what sticks”. I became a curious kid who was going to have her first experiment. I tested out many jobs: content writing, social media producer, freelance marketer and even graphic designing. I isolated myself from many people and also got out of my comfort zone to expose myself to new people. I got unjustly judged and criticized and misunderstood by many people including my family and friends but I really didn’t care because I couldn’t afford to put anyone above myself. For this one time, I’m giving it all to save myself – not trying to be dramatic, but it’s the god damn truth and as we all know “the truth hurts”. Curiosity didn’t kill the cat, if you think I got the proverb wrong, you better Google and find out the next part of that.In fact, it was the curiosity that ignited a speck of light in the pitch black phase that I was in.


Finally, I could look myself in the mirror and not feel disgusted by my own reflection because...I found myself. You may think that this sounds dramatic or I was copying something from the Joker movie, no I'm not because I hadn't even seen that movie. Unless you had personally gone through what I had been through, you wouldn't ever ever EVERRRRRR understand how creepy it felt when you couldn't even recognize yourself in the mirror.

Right now, I am a retail stock trader (not a value investor but an intra/contra day trader and occasional scalper). I embarked on this journey in a very spontaneous manner. It's like one fine day I woke up and had this idea of instead of looking for a job where I need to use my time in exchange for money, why not find out how can I make my money work for me in my own timing? Random and crazy, but I took the leap of faith. It's scary and full of uncertainties and risks as well but I know it's gonna be worthwhile. I really like the process of it even though getting to this amateur-but-not-so-amateur stage involved a lot of monetary losses, stress and some tears. I like what I am doing right now-it ticks off all the boxes of my dream job; it is definitely a scalable thing in the near future once I have my skills sharpened; I enjoy the thrill and constant changes in the whole environment; the traders’ community motivates and inspires me to do better financially all the time. And the best part of it is that earning money while wearing PJs 99% of the time.

I'm satisfied but not contented nor complacent. I’m turning 26 in less than 2 months' time. Though Asian parents will start telling you that “if you don’t have your life figured out, buy a house and get married by the age of 30, you are an ultimate failure”, I really can’t be bothered fuck. As long as I enjoy doing something, I’ll do it. If not, I’ll seek for something else. This is just the start and I have plans for other ventures too, which at the moment are kept strictly between my brain and my journal!

2019 was a year that’s full of experiments. My perception of life changed a lot but it is also a lot more simplified. My biggest takeaway after all these dramas is that life is just like a pair of shoes. No matter how pretty it may be on the outside, if it hurts your feet, you are the one and only person who is experiencing that feeling. Thus, there's really no point in doing something that makes you unhappy just for the sake of getting the so called "recognition" from the society or your family/friends.

In case someone's going to give me shit about how I'm turning 30 in a few years time and I should be acting my age, let me explain it to you: just because I am getting to the average age of settling-down-with-a-home-and-popping-out-kids, it doesn't mean that I have to nor I ever have to. Is it rightful for me to ask someone to jump off a building just because someone has gotten to the average lifespan of a human being because it's time for them to die? Let that sink in for a little bit.

Now, for me, it comes down to 3 categories only: income, motivation/inspiration/peresonal development and my genuine happiness – if something or someone doesn’t fall into any of these 3 categories, sorry but not sorry, it’s not worth my time. And I intend to bring this "FI-losophy" with me into 2020 without any guilt.

This is a lengthy and somewhat lecture-y one but basically I wrote this for myself as a "monumental" blog post (like a pat on the back) to conclude my 2019. Here's to more spontaneity and genuine happiness in doing what you and I honestly enjoy doing in this new year and in this new decade!

Happy new year everyone! ♥

Wednesday, January 1, 2020

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