Fortunately, we made it today!
I replied, “No, I don’t think so”.
- these are investments in myself
- life is about working hard and buying all things you like
- what is the use of saving money if you will never spend it on the things you like
There were many underlying issues for me to act this way, but I did not have the awareness to notice let alone admit them to myself.
✎ I was feeling lost in life, so I used “work hard, shop hard” as a form of motivation to have something to look forward to.
✎ I had low self-esteem, so I thought all these brand names could act as a shiny armor to protect me from my imaginary condemnation coming from everyone that I could be meeting.
If I could identify the root cause back then, I surely wouldn’t have bought so many bags and clothes that I ended up throwing and donating, as well as the time spent shopping. I could have been richer by a few grands by now if I could reverse those unwise spending. Because at the end of it all, it’s not about the physical objects themselves that I was chasing after, but a specific feeling that I associated upon purchasing those objects, such as feeling controlled, feeling the adrenaline rush even if it’s temporary, feeling great about myself when I wore it for the first time and so on.
Dirty laundry #2:
✎ I do not have the attention span and time to read routinely.
Puhleaseeee, you have time to scroll through Instagram reels watching cats and hamsters for 2 hours straight, you are saying you don’t have the time.
✎ I’m feeling tired today, so let’s just skip the workout.
I end up watching 3 movies in a row till midnight after telling myself that excuse.
(Believe me, I know I’m not the only one with this whole I-do-not-have-time bullshit. You could be guilty too in some areas of your lives. But hey, there’s no shame in this alright?)
✎ Oh, not forgetting my biggest one:
I am not ready to trade (forex) because I haven’t learnt enough – even though I spent so much time and effort making notes, watching videos, and learning from different mentors and friends. I’ve been trying to learn how to swim while keeping myself dry by reading a book. Good job Fion.
✎ Another big one that cost me a fortune, literally:
As a short-term trader (not an investor) cutting losses quickly is the number one rule in this survival game. However, I often ended up trying to persuade myself to not do that with some seemingly logical reasons, such as:
“This is a fundamentally good company, it’s fine to hold onto the stock until it comes back up.”
“The overall trend is still healthy, I’ll remove the stop loss and see how it goes.”
Traders do not cling onto something for the long term, that’s an investment thing. I brought snorkeling equipment to scuba dive. That’s why I drowned in the sea.
Bet you have heard things like these:
✎ I can’t change because that's how I always am.
So, does that excuse automatically give you a right to speak in an inconsiderate manner, hurting people's feelings yet condemning people for being too sensitive?
✎ I can't take care of my diet. It's just too hard.
That statement translates into: I'm happy being fat and I will condemn whoever tells me I am fat (even if that person's a doctor) and tell people that this is self-love.
In conjunction with this topic, I'll quote my friend @pohhuexp (on Instagram) who's a Precision Nutrition Certificed Coach:
Body positivity is loving yourself no matter what society thinks - you don't need abs to be sexy and healthy. The part I disagree with body positivity is when people use it as an excuse to be overweight and call it healthy. Being overweight isn't healthy. It's fine if you personally choose and prefer to be at a certain weight, but don't promote that as healthy scientifically, it's not.
✎ I will do anything to get my ex back because I love him/her. Then, you proceed to do 'ugly' things like threatening, begging pathetically, harassing over the phone, stalking on social media everyday.
I challenge you to look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself, "is this love? am I really acting out of love?"
Saying “this is who I always am” reflects a person’s EQ, stupidity, and selfishness. It leaves the other party in a state of “take it or leave it” because you are not mature enough to deal with your own shit. Address the elephant in the room by being honest with yourself, not by protecting your stupid ego at the expense of your loved ones, or even yourself!
Carve a bit of time out daily, sit in silence alone and ask yourself:
"Am I truly fine with all these?"
"Do I love this version of myself?"
"Am I genuinely happy?"
Thursday, June 9, 2022
However, reading off my laptop has not been the most convenient approach. It works and I love my Macbook with all my heart, just that (1) I can’t bring my Macbook everywhere with me without feeling the weight (2) the computer screen strains my eyes after reading several pages.
A few Youtubers that I follow (like Jenn Im and Ali Abdaal) constantly rave about their Kindles, but it's such a challenge to find one in Malaysia, physically. I wanted to see and feel it with my own hands before deciding if it's my cup of tea (another side effect of Konmari: I wanted to make sure it will spark joy).
During the Lunar New Year at the start of February this year, my cousin showed up with a Kindle in her handbag. I finally got to try it out - and yes, I liked it right away. So when my mom asked me what I wanted for my birthday, which was on the 12th of February, I asked for a Kindle.
After comparing for a really long time, I eventually bought my Kindle from this seller. I bombarded them with a bunch of questions and they answered me patiently. Also, this seller offers 1 year of warranty at the most competitive price (MYR 359). They shipped out in 2 hours after the payment was completed. The delivery was shockingly fast too - less than 30 hours to arrive in Penang from KL.
* Due to the fact that Amazon doesn't ship to Malaysia, the majority of the sellers in Malaysia import their Kindles from Amazon Japan. The warranties are not provided by Amazon but by the sellers themselves. While browsing the Internet you can see sellers pricing the same model of Kindle at different prices depending on the length of warranty that you are comfortable with.
If you’d like to look up a word, just press on it. A toolbox will pop up.
Highlighting only comes in grey on my Kindle due to its e-ink display.
Tuesday, March 22, 2022
This book is written in seemingly simple English and broken down into short chapters. It has a lot of bullet points instead of long passages. Although it doesn’t consist of deep English vocabulary, it took me longer than usual to finish because it required some thinking and self-reflection in the reading process. Skip this book if you are not ready to face your internal bullshits and not willing to do some inner work - because it will just be a waste of effort and time to even sit through the book.
I agree with Erin May Henry that this is hands-down one of the books that everyone should from time to time come back to. It is such a powerful pick-me-up and the author covered most aspects of our lives with brutally honest wake-up calls. I read it during the Lunar New Year holidays (including my birthday and Valentines' Day), and it got me
Side track a little:
I decided to add a new section to my blog where I talk about books that I personally read. Recently, I heard a podcast that said, “creating an output of the things you learn will double the effect of the initial input”. Thus, here’s #FionReads where I will share my thoughts and some book excerpts/quotes that I picked out during the reading process.
♠You needlessly create problems and crises in your life because you’re afraid of actually living it. The pattern of unnecessarily creating crises in your life is actually an avoidance technique. It distracts you from actually having to be vulnerable or held accountable for whatever it is you’re afraid of. You’re never upset for the reason you think you are.
♠ Fear means you’re trying to move toward something you love, but your old beliefs, or unhealed experiences, are getting in the way.
♠ Discomfort is what happens when we are on the precipice of change. Unfortunately, we often confuse it for unhappiness and cope with the latter while running from the former. It usually takes a bit of discomfort to break through to a new understanding, to release a limiting belief, to motivate ourselves to create real change.
♠ Nobody wants to believe happiness is a choice, because that puts responsibility in their hands. It’s the same reason people self-pity: to delay action, to make an outcry to the universe, as though the more they state how bad things are, the more likely it is that someone else will change them.
♠ Most common root of discomfort: the space between knowing and doing.
♠ Emotional intelligence is the ability to feel, express, and interpret your feelings productively; self-esteem is believing you’re worthy of loving and being loved despite not being supremely, completely “good” all of the time; happiness is a product of how you cope with your problems and whether or not you see them as the opportunities they are.
♠ The confidence people have in their beliefs is not a measure of the quality of evidence, but of the coherence of the story that the mind has managed to construct.
♠ “What do I want?” is a question you need to ask yourself every day.
♠ We make assumptions based on what our current circumstances “mean” about us, and then also begin to believe that things will always be the way they are—hence why tragedies feel so insurmountable, yet happiness feels so fleeting (in fearing that happiness won’t last forever, we lose it—in fearing that grief will last forever, we create it).
♠ Discomfort is in avoiding the pain, not the pain itself.
♠ Take an honest look at your life and evaluate how much you’ve constructed as a means to avoid pain, and decide whether or not those fears are even valid in the first place
♠ Choose to believe that everything is here to help us.
♠ You’re mentally lazy. You know you should be more present, but you won’t put in the effort to practice it.
♠ Losers wait to feel motivated.
♠ Everything in your life does one of three things: shows you to yourself, heals a part of yourself, or lets you enjoy a part of yourself.
♠ Ask yourself: “If the whole world were blind, how many people would I impress?”
♠ It may not be your fault, but it is still your problem.
♠ Trying to make sense of your life is what’s actually holding you back.
♠ Anxiety is usually bred out of inaction.
♠ What you most dislike in others is, in some variation, true of you: You just haven’t been able to acknowledge it yet. The more angrily and fiercely you respond “no” to that idea, the more intensely you are trying to avoid it. Anger = recognition. You don’t lash back at things you don’t, in some way, regard as being real. So figure out what you most need to heal within yourself by seeing what you most want to change in others. Doing so will free you in a way you can’t imagine. Doing so is a necessary piece of the life-you-want puzzle, because all the energy you’re using trying to avoid, deflect, delude your way into not acknowledging what you need to heal/change/deal is being wasted, at best, and is actually actively keeping you from the life you want, at worst.
♠ Whenever there is a problem in your life, there is a problem with how you are thinking, reacting, or responding.
♠ I decide. My circumstances don’t.
♠ All things are good, because all things serve us in the way of growth and development.
♠ Anything that exists in your life exists because you created it. Anything that persists does so because you are feeding it.
♠ You are not in the world; the world is in you.
♠ Being fearful of moving forward and more fearful of going back—is the only guaranteed way that it will ruin you.
Tuesday, March 15, 2022

- touch panel control and automatic pairing
- up to 20 hours of battery life
- adaptive dual-microphone technology
- IPX4 splash-proof protection
- 3-year warranty with Sudio Sphere
Friday, September 10, 2021
Ever since I started working out back in 2016, I had always wished for a chance to collaborate with a fitness brand. It was such a far away unreachable dream back then but somehow, years later, Vimour made it happened!
Vimour is a portmanteau, a made-up word coined from the combination of the words vim and vigour. Based in Kuala Lumpur (Malaysia), Vimour is a yoga-inspired athletic apparel brand owned by LYR Global.
For this collaboration, I picked out their lavender-blue set. I was quite inclined to stay with my usual black-or-white choices but this colour tone is too special to resist. I just had to get it for my collection.
Top: Backless Halter Yoga Sports Bra (Lavender Blue - size 2)
I really like the bareback cutting because I don't have such design in my collection. Inspired by the Chinese ancient bra "Du Dou 肚兜", this bra that comes with removable padding is flattering for sure.
Bottom: Cross Waist Bike Short Women's Yoga Pants (Lavender Blue - size 2)
Had a hard time deciding whether I should go for this bike short yoga pants or the flared boot cut long pants. Ended up going with the short pants because it's more practical in this hot Malaysia weather. When it comes to choosing a workout tights/pants, butt-sculpting is always a big key determinant factor. Girls, you know what I am saying! This one passed the test. I can say that honestly because I haven't been working on my booty diligently lately, yet after putting this pair of yoga pants on, I feel I do have a mini peach emoji there!
Friday, July 16, 2021
The only fortunate thing was that we actually had a couple of months of freedom (from February to Mid of May - right after I celebrated Mother's Day in advance). If not, I'm sure that most people would've gone crazy by now.
April: Catching up with friends


Celebrated our big sista, Vernice's birthday with her. I dressed up with makeup and heels specially for her.

Baby step first, starting from this blog post.
- study Forex more diligently
- be patient about the macro
- appreciate the little things + celebrate the tiniest wins
- read at least 3 books
Monday, July 5, 2021

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image from dfenze.my |
What is HOCI?
HOCl is a powerful and effective oxidizer and de-proteiner which has good microbial activity within these cells. Based on biological aspect, HOCl is the chemical naturally generated by our body to combat and ward off any types of infections. Harmful pathogens (bacteria, spores and viruses) can be found all around us in the air, on food, plants, animals, and on inanimate surfaces. The human body uses innate, non-specific mechanisms as the first line of defense against injury and infection. The skin itself, and mucous secretions at epithelial membranes are both important elements of innate resistance. But when these are breached, HOCl is immediately generated in response as the key chemical component of innate immunity.
- pH 5.0-7.0 Free Available Chlorine: 150 ppm Kill broad spectrums of pathogens
- Kill 99.99% Influenza Virus H1N1 (Tested by Gmicro Testing)
- Kill 99.99% of bacteria and germs (Tested by Chemical Laboratories Sdn Bhd)
- Kill pathogen 80X more effectively than alcohol and bleach sanitizers with the same concentration
- Non-toxic (Tested by SIRIM Berhad)
- Non-irritant (Tested by SIRIM Berhad)
- Physical Characteristic Test (Tested by Gmicro Testing)
(Always remember to not bring any viruses back home with you for your own sake and your loved ones)
Dfenze Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dfenzemalaysia/
Dfenze Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dfenze_malaysia
Tuesday, June 29, 2021
以前20歲出頭的時候,總會害怕別人的評價,怕別人不喜歡我,怕別人看不起我,怕別人議論我。
大学第一年,有个我把她当好姐妹的朋友某天突然跟我說,因為你手裡拿的包不跟我們其他人同樣等級,所以我們不能一起出门。有一度,我疯狂买包买衣服,因為怕別人瞧不起我,不把我當一回事。現在的我,覺得有現金比有包好。简单几件百搭的单品更方便。如果當不當得成朋友取決於我拿什麼包,那我寧可沒有這種朋友。這是自我提升和成长之後換來的底氣。
就連炒股,一年前的我會坐在電腦面前不知所措地哭。那時候任何買賣都不敢,認為自己不管怎樣都是失敗的。現在的我,虽還沒突然一夜暴富 (我還是希望這天會到來),但是亏钱之后也不再懷疑自己是否不能翻身了。我再怎么fuck up,我也知道哪里是个end point。就像我大师兄说的:【炒股不要看你当下赚了多少钱,你的底气应该来自于扣了犯傻的亏损之后,那个你能赚到最低的nett profit】。壓力迷茫肯定每时每刻都有的,但是現在的底氣是這一年半裡的起起落落、虧損💸、眼淚、壓力、无数个失眠的夜晚/Panic attacks換來的。只要青山还保着,这就还是一份完完全全属于自己的小事业。我是我自己portfolio的小老板。
今天听到很暖心的话,是閨蜜跟我說的:【想當年的你肯定受創,但是現在的你可以一笑而過】。
雖然偶爾會cry-baby一下,但是很快又自我療癒了。很多事情我都能在短時間內代謝掉。因為limit down的點就是 「大不了再熬過一次罷了嘛!」