Just finished watching Mary Stayed Out All Night yesterday. Initially, I just watched it because Jang Keun-Suk's in it (the main actor, on the right, the guy with the guitar). Never had I thought before this drama would have such a great impact on me. Now I am in total confusion. Not about the storyline of the drama, but........It's something really really hard for me to explain. So PLEASE bear with me if there are any nonsensical random things that I am going to crap about below.

What does the word "music" mean to you?
And what does the word "dreams" mean to you?

I bet everyone has heard about the quote "Living your dream to the fullest". Some of you may say it's cliche, but what is the true meaning behind that saying? I am desperate to know.

Jang Keun Suk's character in this drama inspired me a lot. His role is a free-spirited indie singer named Kang Wu Kyul. With a charming face and talent like no other, he gains popularity as he works as a lead vocalist and guitarist in a rock band or an underground band. He is a chic and lives a carefree bohemian lifestyle. He doesn't talk much and all he wants in his life is to make music. And he doesn't give a damn about success or fortune. [ps: Alright, finally I have found a way to get into my topic.]

Nowadays, many people learn musical instruments. Parents send their child/children for music lessons since young. That's why in this era, nearly everyone can play at least one type of music instrument. The problem is....how many among this group really love music? How many take music as part of their lives? Who's willing to seriously devote themselves to music? I have many friends who learn music, majority of them learn piano and they had already finished Grade 8 and some even Diploma. However to me, I never envy any of them, even I am a 200% amateur in the music field. Because to me, the essential of music is missing in them. I know I have no right to judge anybody right here, but I simply can't understand. Many of them told me that they've been learning music since young and it has become a habit for them to spend a few hours sitting in front of their pianos praticing their exam pieces every single day. Some told me that their parents wanted them to pick up the skill because of the certificates which they could get from those examinations. Some told me that they have never been touching piano anymore after they finished their highest grade examinations. And some even told me that they have never played any other songs except for their exam pieces. My friend who finished Diploma in her piano when she was 16, now abandoned her piano in the corner of her house and she's telling me that she can hardly play any songs right now. Since when music was invented for the sake of examinations and certificates? What's the real meaning of music in this case?

The reason why the character Kang Wu Kyul catches my heart is because this guy is someone who's living his dream. He doesn't care about what other people think of him, no matter how hard life can be, he never changes his own style in order to match the liking of the entertainment companies and he remains loyal to his other band members. He refuses to have contracts with entertainment companies as long as they don't allow his other band members to be involved or let them do their own style of music. To him, a band is a band, a band goes through everything together, be it good or bad, band members shall stick together at all times. No matter how bad life is, he never changes his own concept. To him, music is everything, music is life.

Dreams and reality...which one should we choose? Is it necessary to face the reality and let your dreams slip away? The world is cruel. Many people are saying that we can't live our dreams because they are unreal, they are not dependable, they cannot bring you fortune in life. The world now has turned into a world that talks only about fame and fortune.

I have never mentioned to anyone before in my life, but I really really really look up to musicians, especially those underground bands. They don't care what people think of them, all they want is to make their own music, to live their dreams for music. Even though they don't get the society's recognition and they don't make great fortune, they are always determined in their dreams, their passion. It takes a lot a lot a lot of courage to live this kind of life. But I guess, surely they find happiness in whatever they are doing despite the fact that people always cast them a weird kind of look, it doesn't matter to them. The only thing that matters is music. Why must people look down on them?

What I wanna say is that.....Don't be judgemental. WE ONLY LIVE ONCE. Why can't we just follow our heart and live the life that we want? Why must we deal with the reality? Why can't we have our rights to mind our own business? Why must we care about what people have to say about the decisions that we make in our lives. And just because we only have 1 chance to live, shouldn't we just chase after the things that we want to achieve in our lives? And who are you to point your finger at others saying that they are going the wrong way? Everybody has their own dreams, as long as it's legal, just go for it.

For those peeps out there who love music,

Making decisions are one of the most important things to do in life. If you really wanna pursue in music, pluck up the courage and just go for it. Give it your best and never regret. Even if you failed eventually, it's alright, at least, you've once obeyed your heart. Don't hide your dreams, don't let anyone bring you down.

Michael Jackson wouldn't be the King Of Pop;
Orianthi Panagaris wouldn't be the Guitar Goddess;
Cn Blue wouldn't be the best rock band;
Jang Keun Suk wouldn't be the Asia Prince;
Christina Grimmie wouldn't skyrocket to fame on Youtube.

Haha..I apologize because these people are MY idols, of course any of your idols did the same thing as well. They wouldn't be where they are or who they are today if they believe in themselves. The most important thing: Never lose confidence in yourself. Always remember that. If you don't believe in yourself, who will?

Just because some aren't internationally famous or making mountains of fortune, it doesn't mean that your music sucks. Frankly speaking, I personally think that there are NO music that sucks in this universe, there are only people who don't know how to appreciate every piece of music on earth.

Live your dream and you'll never know when miracles may happen!


ps 1: Many thanks to my guitar teacher, Alex Akaru Sachi. I've never thought of knowing a real talented musician in my life. Thanks for all the inspirations and teachings Alex :) And also for showing me how important music is in my life. So..... I'm dedicating this entire post to you. Keep rocking!
ps 2: I don't mean to be offensive in any ways, this is just my PERSONAL thoughts, that's all x)

Friday, January 20, 2012

Finally, I am starting to pack my luggage. Since I am taking Air Asia, the luggage's limit is only 30kgs. Initially I thought I wouldn't be facing any problems while packing my things because I am quite a pratical person (well, in some ways only...) so I assumed that I wouldn't need to pack unnecessary things. However....fate had it otherwise....

Nearly everyone's telling me to pack as much as I can. Australia's things are much expensive than Malaysia's things. That's why right now I am having a headache. Plus, during packing, there are lots of things to buy. I am extremely sorry for my mom's wallet and credit cards. She paid for my college's tuition fee, hostel rental fee and bought me a laptop, IN A MONTH'S TIME...I'm super duper sorry mom :/

I had given up the idea of buying a new luggage bag. The main point was and still is to safe up unnecessary expenses. But, I am thinking of buying a new school bag. Mom had this idea of giving me a laptop bag to use as a normal school bag. OMG! I don't want a laptop bag because it is quite heavy itself even I haven't put anything into it. My original idea was to bring along my old school bag which I used in my last year of high school but some of the white parts had turned dirty and there's no way I can clear off the dirt.

Alright...now it's time to take a peep at my shopping list.

1. Most important of all - sanitary pads
Seriously...I am not kidding at all. All my friends are packing this. Everyone's advising me to pack them. A year's supply if I won't be coming back to Malaysia. These kind of things in Australia are very expensive. Put it this way then, if I am not mistaken, 2 years ago when I went there I saw that these things are nearly the same price as Malaysia's, but theirs were in Aussie dollars. Woah...insanely pricey to the max!

(ps: I don't care if it's awkward enough to talk about this issue openly on my blog, I just think it's the no.1 of the list. At least, I am not showing the pictures. They are in the green recycle bag there :p And I'm bringing the coffee mug that my juniors gave me last year during PKK's farewell!)

2. Instant noodles
Aussie's instant noodles are rather much expensive than Malaysia's. But, because my mom doesn't allow me to eat too much instant noodles, I'm only bringing 2 packs of 5-in-1s there. I have to admit, instant noodles are convenient but not good for health, so I absolutely have nothing against it.

3. Stationeries
No explanations needed, it's all because of the prices again. I am definitely not going to spend a whole lot bunch of EXTRA money on stationeries and I doubt Aussie will have the brands that I want. I am madly particular with my stationeries :p So I bought a bunch of highlighters, pens and even puncher and staplers. I didn't have to buy erasers and pencil leads because I still have a lot in my cupboard, let's hope they can last me for a year if my estimations are correct.

4. Laptop

Of course, everyone needs a laptop as they proceed to college. I bought a Toshiba Satellite L745 Pearl White one. Loving it to the max~Is my desktop background cute?!?! :D

5. Headphones
Life sucks without headphones. I can't possibly think back how did I manage to survive before I bought my headphones. I had one last time but its cable broke and I bought back exactly the same one and crystalised it the same way as well.

6. Hairdryer
Not going to buy this thing there. School's starting the next day once I arrive and there's no time for me to go shopping for this kind of thing. Furthermore, I won't dare to think about the price.

7. Skin care
Actually this is not necessary. I bought a facial cleanser there once and it wasn't that expensive. Around Rm20, I got a Dove Facial Scrub which was quite reasonable. I packed Hada Labo's facial cleanser and toner and a Loreal moisturizer that's all. Am still thinking should I buy a facial mask from Skin food and a black head scrub O.o

Right now, the luggage is still left on the floor in my store room. Hah! The instant noodles and others are lying on the floor as well. I have no intention to pack them any time soon, maybe let me slack till Chinese New Year's really near then I have no way but to clear the house :p

Of course, I am so not forgetting Mikey's going to be part of my luggage as well. Will bring along MJ's This Is It, all my celebrities photos so I can stick them on my wall, Heartstrings, You're Beautiful, Mary Stayed Out All Night and We Got Married DVD! Peace will meet me there after 3 weeks :S

Good news! My whole series of 'Mary Stayed Out All Night' is coming home! I can spend the next few days watching my Sukkie oppa :D

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Oh my god...Exactly one month left till my flight to Melbourne. I'm so freaking used to all these slacking days: blasting music, watching dramas, playing guitar and keyboard, singing, reading story books and blogs, Facebook-ing, Youtube-ing, shopping and everything that has absolutely nothing to do with studying. What a great life I have here! Totally stress free and seem to me I'm having all the time that I want in this world. Okay, maybe not quite, because to me, I still think that 24hours a day is way too short for me to enjoy myself. But come to think of it, thank goodness I'm not a sleepy-head or else I would've wasted longer time snuggling in my bed.

First it was Jia Ming who went to the airport. Then, it was my darling Dwaeji Tokki (aka Wan Fen). Finally, it's going to be my turn. Honestly, I am not really afraid of going, but I just don't feel like leaving my room and my keyboard, that's the worst thing ever. I love my room to the max. How much time in my life have I been spending inside it and how much effort I put into decorating it until my friends envy me for having such a cool room.

I will be bringing Mikey (my electric guitar) with me to Melbourne, and leaving Peace (my acoustic guitar) and Dreamx (my Korg keyboard) behind in my room. Luckily mom promised to bring Peace for me when she goes to visit me in Melbourne in March, or else I would cry! The problem is I'm going to be staying in a dorm, 2 person in a room and it's impossible for Dreamx to fit in. And the other thing is all my Michael Jackson collection must be left behind in my room as well, they can't tag along with me. All the posters in my room will remain in their own places, and I am thinking of taking down those photos that I have on my wall and in my closet, hopefully my roommate won't mind me putting them up. I'll go insane if I don't get to bring photos of Michael Jackson, Orianthi, Jung Yong Hwa, Christina Grimmie and Jang Keun Suk.....I'm not going to care, now my sixth sense is telling me that I'm going to meet a really nice roommate. I'm not an evil person, so I suppose there's no worry of karma getting me in this kind of way :p

So...one more month until I arrive in a brand new world. Everything's a new start. No more calling my friends to chat up to an hour when I'm alone, no more depending on my mom, no more driving around the place, no more shopping, no more Youtube (Internet tends to be expensive in Aussie), no more being insane about my idols......In short: NO MORE SLACKING. 12th February 2012, I am going to arrive in Melbourne, and this is the first time I'm on my own on my birthday, literally alone on my 18th birthday. My first time away from home alone. And school starts the next day. Let's see how busy a college life will be....I'll take everything as it comes. I've come really far: preschool, primary school, high school and now college is just one step away from me. To be precise, approximately 30 days.

Fortunately, I am born as a single child in my family. Being home alone without anyone to talk to for 4 days ain't a problem for me. I find solace in MUSIC. I'm really grateful for that, as long as music exist, I can live, no matter how hard the situation is, when's there's music, there's no problem at all. That's one of the reasons why I am so damn obsess with my idols. They are the cure to every single obstacle. You can go ahead and oppose this statement of mine, you can say I'm just an ordinary kiddy-minded teenage girl who's STILL so unbelievably immature, BUT....at least to me, music is everything. I'm mentally prepared for the future Melbourne life to come, nothing to be afraid of, I have music to accompany me all the time.

People can do it, so can I. I'm keeping my head up. I'm not going to freak out. I am not going to cry myself to sleep under my blanket. I will make my family proud, I will make my mom know that I'm a blue chip, an investment which is worth to make.

This is the start of my dream, the start of my adventure!!!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

I used to envy other peeps who can have their own blogs and they can express whatever they want without any restrictions AT ALL. I have a blog. A food blog, which my mom and her friend who I called a SIFU is keeping an eye on.

I love blogging food posts, but I am a human as well. Looking at those awesome bloggers out there, like XiaXue and Cheeserland and Qiu Qiu. They are totally amazing in their own style. They stand out because they have their own personality. Both of them are special in their own ways. Be it fashion, random pictures, random articles or whatsoever, they are simply COOL. I always want to be able to blog about stuffs which have nothing to do with food posts. Yet, I didn't feel like starting a new blog as I already have a little traffic on my food blog and starting a new blog means I have to start everything from zero.

Last 2 weeks, having absolutely nothing to do in KL, I suddenly felt like blogging. But I didn't have my camera cable with me. I couldn't do any food posts on my blog. So, I decided to write a super random post about a Korean drama which I was (still am) crazy about. Well, a blog is a place to write freely right?!? I thought it won't hurt or affect anything at all as I already labelled that post as "random" and I had also clarified that it's total crap. If the readers don't feel like reading, I bet everyone will just scroll down the page or find something else to read...ain't that the truth?!

Fate had it otherwise....yesterday, my mom went to my food blog to look up for a restaurant's contact number and she saw those random stuffs that I uploaded. You know what happened next?! She scolded me as if I had committed some kind of serious crime. To her, posting random articles on my food blog means:
1) I am so NOT holding onto my principle.
2) I am extremely obsess with celebrities until I am turning my life upside down.
3) I don't have any persistence in doing things.
In real, she came up with a gazillion of reasons and I got told off.

Come on, get a life. Leave me alone can you?! Christina uploads random videos of herself talking and being crazy on her MUSIC channel, Cheeserland uploads random vain pictures of herself on her blog, Xiaxue blogs about everything she feels like blogging....Yet, they are successful. People love them. People look up to them. They are people's inspirations.

If you like me, if you like my stuffs, feel free to leave me comments or follow me. I love hearing from my readers. If you don't like me, it's absolutely alright with me. I won't feel bad or whatsoever. Because, love me or hate me, I'm still an obsession :P 

Peace and Love.

Sunday, January 1, 2012


Fionism . Theme by STS.