You don't have to explain yourself.
Alright, just to clear things up, I am not saying this in terms of a court case and you don't choose to explain yourself and then go enjoy endless curry rice supply in the jail. This is definitely not the context that I am talking about.
Today, I am talking about relationships, in general - be it family members, friends or partners.
I used to care a lot about people talking behind my backs. However, as I grow up, I realised that I don't have that time to care about what people want to think. Or is it that I had been through so much similar cases that I have developed a certain degree of immunity in relation to this? I don't have a solid answer to that.
Nevertheless, believe me or not, there are people out there, no matter how good you are to them, they just genuinely have a problem with you.
I had several experiences like this, no matter how well you have treated someone, they would still have things to complain about you.
Back in the early days of entering Melbourne University, I made a couple of friends and I thought we were best friends. Until one day, they told me in my face "Fion, if you can't shop LV, Prada with us, then you can't shop with us from now onwards".
I honestly thought that this kind of situation belongs to high school, like those scenes from "Mean Girls".
I was really taken aback because back then when I was in an all girls' school, nothing like this ever happened to me BUT it freaking occurred to me when I was in University.
I felt hurt and I felt like an abandoned kitten and I was really sad. Since I had no more new friends, I decided to join the Korean Society, the rest was history - the days where I starved and learnt Korean etc...To my surprise, those girls did not stop gossiping and talking shit about me. Even though I had cut ties with them ever since they told me that I wasn't allow to shop with them. They just NATURALLY have something to say about WHATEVER I do...
The earlier days of my survival in Korean Society, those girls gossiped about how much of a wannabe I was to wanna be Korean (which to their disappointment, I NEVER DENY, YES, I AM A KOREAN ADDICT, I AM A KOREAN WANNABE duh...). When I started to perform in the K-Pop dance group with lots of tears and sweat behind which they never know to the day when I became part of the executive committee of the Korean Society, they had comments about every single thing I did.
Then, it hit me - perhaps it is not just whatever I do but just whatever ANYBODY does.
There are a lot of people out there who don't have better things to do but to spread rumours and make nonsensical comments about someone else's life.
The thing is that...you know how crazy rumours can spread. When a lot of people start talking about something that is not factual, then SOMEHOW, god knows how, that thing will become a fact - in fact, it becomes so god damn factual to the extent that it should be listed in the encyclopedia.
My point is that you don't have to ever explain yourself to clear all these rumours. They were called rumours for a reason and also not being in the encyclopedia for an epic reason.
People who TRUST you will trust you, BY DEFAULT.
People who LOVE you will love you, BY DEFAULT.
People who will STAND UP for you, will stand up for you, BY DEFAULT.
People who will NOT BUY THAT SHIT, will just not buy that shit, BY DEFAULT.
At the end of the day, these nasty situations will just show you who your real friend really is. The person who trust and love you, will know you well enough to not buy that shit.
For the so called close friends or loved ones of yours who will come around and judge you based on some bullshit comments, rumours or anything - those are not REAL friends or loved ones. Those are just fake labels. Just like how you can get a plastic bag and write "Gucci" on it. Yes, recognizing this painful truth hurts BUT this is the real shit.
The society is like that. It moulds you and it transforms you into someone who you are not. What the society does, regardless it is right or wrong, if a lot of people start to do something or start to believe in something then that would appear to be right.
In fact, I believe that life is not about right or wrong. If not, why are we living a life? We should all be programmed robots to save up all these shit and just talk about productivity and efficiency.
A lot of things in life just don't need explanations. Why do you need to explain to other people about how you are living your own life?
You don't need to explain why you don't use a branded handbag; you don't need to explain who you are dating; you don't need to explain why you like a typical song; you don't need to explain why you like blue and not pink......
YOU NEVER NEED TO GIVE EXPLANATIONS, because you don't OWE ANYBODY EXPLANATIONS IN THE FIRST PLACE.
Humans have their own minds and of course the mouths. The mouths that speak the words of wisdom and also the mouths that speak the words of complete bullcrap.
At the end of the day, it is just to accept the fact that people can think whatever shit they want and label you however they want. Believe me, a waterlily is a waterlily, it can bloom out of the dirty mud but still look perfect. A diamond is a diamond, no matter how hard you smash it, it will still look perfect because it is the hardest rock. There are no explanations needed for that.
You are just who you are.
People who personally know you and love you for being you will not need those explanations from you.
Those who need those explanations will not believe in your explanations because they would've already formed an impression of you based on those judgmental comments in their heads already before asking you.
So why bother? Might as well get yourself some popcorn and snuggle in with Netflix ;)
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
Year of 2015 was a crazy year for me which also led me to the start of my handbag obsession. After buying a satchel to add to my collection, I decided that I wanted something like the KATE SPADE CEDAR STREET MAISE handbag.
To be honest this bag looks kinda normal and it's definitely not something very fancy BUT I fell in love with it at first sight since 2014. I think it has to do with the shape and the size. Not too big and not too small; not too squarish and not too round.
However, eventually, I didn't end up with Kate Spade because I found something else that's similar and yet nicer!
The Saime Blair handbag. In Chinese we called this 貝殼包 (seashell bag).
I was first exposed to Saime when I spotted it during my Taiwan trip in January 2015 at one of the train stations. I was attracted to it at once due to the designs and the colours! The pastel colour bags and wallets are really cute too! Sadly, I didn't buy any that time because my luggage was already overweight T__T
I got it in dark blue because I thought black's too mainstream and I don't have the confidence to be able to maintain those pretty pastel colours in the long run. You can check out the other colours of this Blair Handbag here. They even have this in mini sizes.
I got it in dark blue because I thought black's too mainstream and I don't have the confidence to be able to maintain those pretty pastel colours in the long run. You can check out the other colours of this Blair Handbag here. They even have this in mini sizes.
After struggling for a few days, I decided to get it delivered to Australia from Taobao - because Saime doesn't ship internationally.
If you are from Malaysia, then there is one Saime outlet in Sunway Pyramid that's newly established (here's the link).
I don't know is it just me but usually I find it very risky if I were to hold my handbag on the handles with my hand because I think I would have the tendency to misplace it. So, it's better for it to hang on my arm HAHA!
For my outfit, I just throw on a very casual top with a random cropped tee (from Valleygirl - $5) that was lying on the top of my pile of clothes and my military jacket (from eBay). The skirt's my recent favourite piece (from eBay too) because I don't have to put on sunblock on my legs anymore when I wear it and it definitely does a good job hiding my bloated legs. Silver sneakers are from Reebok.
Of course, it came with a long strap as well...I never took that strap out because as a lazy person, I tend to change the way I hold my handbag depending the sloppiness of mine on that particular day/time :p
Hand, arm or shoulder, this Saime Blair Handbag looks nice regardless.
Ever since I got this, I had been neglected my Paul's Boutique Jody Satchel a lot...Feel sorry for my satchel but this could fit more things in it than a satchel :/
So far, the only downside of this handbag that I could come up with is its weight...It has a significant weight on its own even it's empty. If you are someone like me who carries a lot of things around, then it might make your shoulder sore at one point. My mom thought I cut my arm the other day because I had a very visible red mark on my arm after having this handbag hung on my arm for nearly the whole day.
However, as far as I learnt, good quality handbags usually has its very own weight. My mom's Coach handbags are all very heavy too and so is my friend's Prada.
Is the quality of a handbag positively related to its weight? Someone tell me please~
Overall, I do NOT regret buying this handbag and despite its weight I will still carry it around! I guess this is why people say girls would do anything for beauty! HAHA And I would definitely recommend this as an alternative for the Kate Spade Cedar Street Maise handbag.
Although Saime is not an internationally known designer brand like Michael Kors and Coach and that it belongs to the cheaper range of handbags, its quality is not cheap at all. It definitely is worth for its price. On top of that, Saime also has a HUGE range of handbags to choose from.
I think I am done with handbags for now...Because I really want to get a new camera for myself. The aim of mine for 2016 - Lumix GF 7!!!! I love it to death!!!!
Sunday, January 10, 2016
I was supposed to write this before 2015 ended, but here I am writing it on the second day of January 2016. One of the reasons was because I wanted the feelings to sink in first so I could write about 2015 with a peaceful and indifferent mind rather than having to feel that "this roller coaster of 2015 is still not at its official end"...if you get what I meant...
2015...I don't even know how to begin. I would say that apart from 2014 which I thought I learnt a lot and I thought it's THE most happening year for me, I wouldn't say the same anymore after going through 2015. Sorry 2014, your place has been replaced.
Highlights of 2015~
♠Went to Taiwan again after so many years. Visited my grandma and my aunty in Taoyuan. Paid a visit at my dad and uncle's grave for the 2nd time of my life. Also went to Kaohsiung for the very first time. Thanks to my friend Ian who I hadn't seen for years who brought us around.
♠I turned 21! Got a big surprise party that my mom and my best friends threw for me. Both of my primary and high school best friends came. Unlike most of my friends who had their glamourous birthday parties in Melbourne where they were showered with Tiffany & Co, Pandora, Swarovski, I received a present which was very simple to most of the people but VERY meaningful and precious to me - a handmade photobook that all my friends came together for a few nights behind my back to complete. It's so important to the extent that I would put it on the list of "things to grab in case of fire" together with the pillow that my grandma made for me when I was 3 years old! It's this serious! It was a blessed birthday, simple yet heart warming and that's enough for me. Mom gave me a platinum ring with diamonds on it because I explicitly told her that I didn't want a key pendant. While I got a platinum pendant from my mom's boss.
♠I met up with Kharn Yee and Rachael for the very first time after meeting them through blogging. Didn't know how and when, but the friendship just bloomed over the Internet.
♠The very last time I was there to help out with the Korean Society's orientation event. I could still remember the scene where I approached the Korean Society's booth in 2013, feeling very anxious and afraid and intimidated but 2 years down the road, I heard the newcomers who told me that they wanted to me like me - not a Korean but being able to understand the Korean language and being able to have Korean friends and learn about Korea so much.
♠During the mid-year, I "retired" as their first Treasurer who's not Korean and that marked the official end of my life in Korean Student Society of Melbourne University (MUKSS). I wouldn't have imagined I could have a day like this. Well, it didn't come easy. What I seldom disclosed was the start of my journey being in Korean Student Society was really tough - I got yelled at, got kicked out of the dance performance because they wanted their Korean friends instead of a non-Korean there who needed translation all the time, a senior who tried to take advantage of me when he was drunk (of course I escaped), a senior who I had a crush on who turned out to be stealing the club's money by transferring them into his personal account etc...It's all about either you starve or you learn AND I'm proud to say that I survived and have made a lot of great friends who taught me a lot throughout these years AND I can understand basic Korean nowadays.
♠I saw my favourite girl group S.H.E live on stage after 9 years. This time around, it was their own concert. Dream came true!
♠I traded in my white iPhone 4S to a golden iPhone 6.
♠I found my specialty dish - Carbonara Spaghetti.
♠Went to Krabi and Langkawi over winter break.
♠Traveled to some new places of Melbourne - Frankston, Mount Macedon, High Point, the Melbourne Aquarium, Brighton and Dandenong.
♠Started to pick up the habit of keeping a diary. I love my Midori diary so much, a place where I can be myself and speak what is truly in my mind, it's a getaway for me.
♠On the 2nd last day of 2015, I tried baking all alone for the very first time.
♠I fell in love for the very first time in my life. Whatever that happened throughout the relationship was part of our memories - be it the good or bad, the laughter or the tears. I still am grateful for his existence in my life and that's all that matters.
♠I graduated! This should be the biggest thing of my 2015! After years and years of being a student, now I am officially done with school. Exactly 4 years and 10 months of being in Australia, I finally got that very expensive paper that I had been dreaming of for nearly my entire life. Thanks to my mom for giving me the greatest financial support without her I wouldn't have been where I am today. I know I always appear to be taking things for granted but I'm just not a very verbal person when it comes to family members...I AM THANKFUL FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, ALWAYS. Also, to my real friends who accompanied me throughout this up-and-down journey, my housemate Chernie and lastly DCat who gave me the greatest support when I was feeling stressed out and pushed me to study harder in my final year of University (results wouldn't have improved if it wasn't for him, sadly he couldn't help with my Fianance papers HAHA). The journey had been full of sweat, tears as well as laughter and smiles...It's just a great milestone in my life that I swear to god that I will never ever forget.
I'm just ending this post with the last selfie of mine for 2015! Here's me trying to catch up with my December diary entries that I till this day haven't managed to catch up with! HAHA!
All the ups and downs that belong to 2015 and let them end there. The most important thing is WE ALL SURVIVED and that's it!
Life is not Accounting, so please don't bring your balance forward - what happened in 2015 stays there. 2016 is a brand new start. Start it with a smile! Just like a card game, close all the cards and shuffle the deck once again and anticipate what cards you will be getting in 2016.
May you have a wonderful 2016 ahead! :D All the best!
2015...I don't even know how to begin. I would say that apart from 2014 which I thought I learnt a lot and I thought it's THE most happening year for me, I wouldn't say the same anymore after going through 2015. Sorry 2014, your place has been replaced.
Highlights of 2015~
♠I turned 21! Got a big surprise party that my mom and my best friends threw for me. Both of my primary and high school best friends came. Unlike most of my friends who had their glamourous birthday parties in Melbourne where they were showered with Tiffany & Co, Pandora, Swarovski, I received a present which was very simple to most of the people but VERY meaningful and precious to me - a handmade photobook that all my friends came together for a few nights behind my back to complete. It's so important to the extent that I would put it on the list of "things to grab in case of fire" together with the pillow that my grandma made for me when I was 3 years old! It's this serious! It was a blessed birthday, simple yet heart warming and that's enough for me. Mom gave me a platinum ring with diamonds on it because I explicitly told her that I didn't want a key pendant. While I got a platinum pendant from my mom's boss.
♠I met up with Kharn Yee and Rachael for the very first time after meeting them through blogging. Didn't know how and when, but the friendship just bloomed over the Internet.
♠The very last time I was there to help out with the Korean Society's orientation event. I could still remember the scene where I approached the Korean Society's booth in 2013, feeling very anxious and afraid and intimidated but 2 years down the road, I heard the newcomers who told me that they wanted to me like me - not a Korean but being able to understand the Korean language and being able to have Korean friends and learn about Korea so much.
♠During the mid-year, I "retired" as their first Treasurer who's not Korean and that marked the official end of my life in Korean Student Society of Melbourne University (MUKSS). I wouldn't have imagined I could have a day like this. Well, it didn't come easy. What I seldom disclosed was the start of my journey being in Korean Student Society was really tough - I got yelled at, got kicked out of the dance performance because they wanted their Korean friends instead of a non-Korean there who needed translation all the time, a senior who tried to take advantage of me when he was drunk (of course I escaped), a senior who I had a crush on who turned out to be stealing the club's money by transferring them into his personal account etc...It's all about either you starve or you learn AND I'm proud to say that I survived and have made a lot of great friends who taught me a lot throughout these years AND I can understand basic Korean nowadays.
♠I saw my favourite girl group S.H.E live on stage after 9 years. This time around, it was their own concert. Dream came true!
♠I traded in my white iPhone 4S to a golden iPhone 6.
♠I found my specialty dish - Carbonara Spaghetti.
♠Went to Krabi and Langkawi over winter break.
♠Traveled to some new places of Melbourne - Frankston, Mount Macedon, High Point, the Melbourne Aquarium, Brighton and Dandenong.
♠Started to pick up the habit of keeping a diary. I love my Midori diary so much, a place where I can be myself and speak what is truly in my mind, it's a getaway for me.
♠On the 2nd last day of 2015, I tried baking all alone for the very first time.
♠I graduated! This should be the biggest thing of my 2015! After years and years of being a student, now I am officially done with school. Exactly 4 years and 10 months of being in Australia, I finally got that very expensive paper that I had been dreaming of for nearly my entire life. Thanks to my mom for giving me the greatest financial support without her I wouldn't have been where I am today. I know I always appear to be taking things for granted but I'm just not a very verbal person when it comes to family members...I AM THANKFUL FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, ALWAYS. Also, to my real friends who accompanied me throughout this up-and-down journey, my housemate Chernie and lastly DCat who gave me the greatest support when I was feeling stressed out and pushed me to study harder in my final year of University (results wouldn't have improved if it wasn't for him, sadly he couldn't help with my Fianance papers HAHA). The journey had been full of sweat, tears as well as laughter and smiles...It's just a great milestone in my life that I swear to god that I will never ever forget.
I'm just ending this post with the last selfie of mine for 2015! Here's me trying to catch up with my December diary entries that I till this day haven't managed to catch up with! HAHA!
All the ups and downs that belong to 2015 and let them end there. The most important thing is WE ALL SURVIVED and that's it!
Life is not Accounting, so please don't bring your balance forward - what happened in 2015 stays there. 2016 is a brand new start. Start it with a smile! Just like a card game, close all the cards and shuffle the deck once again and anticipate what cards you will be getting in 2016.
May you have a wonderful 2016 ahead! :D All the best!
Friday, January 1, 2016
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